Harmful behaviour glossary

There's no single way to describe harmful behaviour – and how you talk about what happened, to you or someone else, is completely up to you. What matters most is recognising when a behaviour is causing harm, whether that's physical, psychological, or both.

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Attacks on freedom of expression

Freedom of expression is a fundamental human right. We'll never all agree on everything – and that's okay. You should always feel safe to share your thoughts, ideas and opinions respectfully, and to welcome those of others.

Bullying

Bullying and harassment are terms that get used interchangeably. Both describe unwanted behaviour that's deliberate and likely to cause physical or psychological harm. Bullying is a pattern of behaviour aimed at humiliating or undermining someone.

Controlling behaviour

Controlling behaviour can be hard to spot, especially when it's coming from someone you trust or who says it's ‘for your own good’. It chips away at your independence and dignity, and can pressure you into acting in ways that don't reflect who you are.

Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse – also called family violence – is any harmful behaviour from someone you live with. It includes physical, emotional or financial harm caused by someone using power or control over another person in their household.

Being harmed by someone who's meant to love and protect you is incredibly tough, especially if leaving doesn't feel possible. It can affect your studies too, whether you’re the one being hurt or someone else in your home is being threatened, abused or manipulated.

Foreign interference

Everyone in Aotearoa New Zealand has the right to feel safe, respected and free to express their beliefs. International students and diaspora communities can sometimes feel caught between competing pressures – and that's not something you should have to navigate alone. If you're experiencing foreign interference, bullying or harassment, there are ways to protect your rights and safety.

• Rights and support against foreign interference

Gender-based violence

Gender-based violence is any harm directed at someone because of their gender. It includes sexual harassment, sexual harm and family violence. We understand that violence at home can affect you deeply, even when you’re not the direct target.

• Sex and healthy relationships

Harassment

Bullying and harassment are terms that get used interchangeably. Both describe unwanted behaviour that's deliberate and likely to cause physical or psychological harm. Harassment can be a repeated behaviour or a single serious incident, and it's often directed at someone because of who they are – their ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, disability or family status.

Hate speech

Hate speech is a politically charged term, but it has a specific meaning. It refers to offensive comments made about someone’s identity – their race, gender, faith (or lack of it), origin, sexuality or social status – that incite hatred, discrimination or violence.

Freedom of expression doesn’t include the right to be hateful. In Aotearoa, hate speech based on race is a punishable offence.

Insults

Insults are negative comments – obvious, subtle or backhanded – designed to make someone feel small. They sting because they attack our sense of belonging, whether that's about power, intelligence, attractiveness or likeability. Insults hurt because they make us feel like we don’t belong.

Intimidation

Intimidation is threatening behaviour that stops you from speaking up or saying no because you're scared of what might happen. Healthy relationships should never make you feel afraid.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse is aggressive behaviour that causes, or threatens to cause, physical injury. It's a natural human reaction to protect yourself from pain, so the fear of being hurt can make you act against your will.

Some people might not even realise their behaviour is physically intimidating, especially where there's an imbalance in strength or power.

Scam

A scam is a criminal act that tricks you into spending money or sharing personal information. Scammers are clever and constantly evolving. Falling for a scam can feel embarrassing, but it’s never your fault for trusting something that seemed genuine. Reporting scams helps stop them from spreading.

Sexual harm or sexual assault

Sexual assault is any sex act performed without explicit consent. Coercion isn't consent. In any relationship, you have the right to set boundaries and expect them to be respected. No one is ever obligated to have sex, even in a relationship.

Stalking

Stalking is a form of surveillance that makes someone feel unsafe. It’s when someone follows you, tracks your movements or monitors what you say – in person or from a distance. It can include excessive comments on social media, private messages that feel like harassment, or showing up uninvited.

A stalker doesn't need to speak to you directly. Their presence alone can be enough to leave you feeling on edge.