Sextortion: what you need to know

Sextortion is a type of online blackmail where someone tries to pressure you to pay money or share intimate content by threatening to expose you. These scams often target young men and rely on fear and urgency. Keep in mind this isn’t your fault; scammers use sophisticated manipulation tactics to catch people off-guard.

How these scams usually happen

Sextortion scams often follow a similar pattern and can escalate quickly. These are key warning signs and behaviour to watch out for.

The initial contact

It often starts with a message from someone you don’t know, or a new connection on social media or a dating app. They may come across as friendly, confident, or highly interested in you. Conversations can move quickly from casual to sexual or intimate. You might notice “love bombing”, where they give lots of compliments or attention early on to gain your trust.

Their profile may seem suspicious; it looks new, has very few followers, no mutual connections, or uses generic or highly polished photos. Poorly written messages can also be a sign that they are not who they claim to be.

Early on, they may also try to move the conversation off the original platform to a private or encrypted app like Snapchat, WhatsApp, or Telegram.

Obtaining content

Once a connection is established, the person may begin to pressure you to share intimate images or join a video call. They might avoid revealing their identity, claiming their camera or microphone isn’t working, or use pre-recorded or fake content to convince you they are genuine. In some cases, they send fake or stolen explicit images first to encourage you to send one back.

They may also try to gather more information about you, including following your social media accounts or identifying your friends and family, which can later be used to increase pressure.

The threat

After they have what they need – or sometimes even if they don’t – the situation can quickly turn into a threat. They may claim they will share images or messages with your contacts, post them online, or send them to your University or whānau. They might also falsely claim they have hacked your account or device.

These threats are designed to create panic and push you into acting quickly, often demanding money. It’s important to know that paying rarely stops the threats and often leads to further demands.